A few years ago, my son played in a summer basketball tournament representing the city of San Francisco. His team had practiced all summer for a late-August three-day tournament being held in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

The field of thirty-two teams boasted many top players, but we kept our poise and hung on to win our first two games. The guys had dreams of winning the whole tournament until they ran into a buzz saw of a team from Los Angeles, who beat them by six points in a tough loss. It meant they didn’t make the semi-finals.

Instead, they played their final game against a team from Washington D.C. The winner would finish the tournament in fifth place, the loser in sixth place. The game was a see-saw battle with neither team ever leading by more than three points. With eight seconds left, one of our players hit a three-pointer to put us up by one point. Their coach called time-out. Our coach gave instructions to avoid fouling. The D.C. team in-bounded the pass and a D.C. player dribbled the ball the length of the court. Our team, afraid to foul him, gave him too much space and with one second on the clock, he made his shot. Our San Francisco team lost!

The players were dejected to have been so close, only to lose. Tears streamed down their faces. The coach rallied the team into a huddle. “I know you guys are disappointed,” he said, “but you need to keep this loss in perspective. If that kid missed his shot at the buzzer, you would’ve come in fifth place. Whether you came in fifth rather than sixth in the Cherry Hill Invitational Basketball tournament for thirteen and fourteen year old boys is not worth tears. Is it?”

A few heads nodded.

How about we keep our chins up?” the coach asked. “We played a great tournament. We won two games. We had a great experience this summer. We came together as a team. Let’s focus on the journey we took together. I’m not letting one lousy jump shot tarnish that experience. How about you?”

Every player nodded and wiped away their tears. Nice job, coach.